Thursday, March 14, 2013


My god!
I'm so lost!
I don't know!!
Oh... this is bad.
Shit, I shouldn't be like this,
What do I do?
See, this is how you know
Someone's going crazy.
This is a sign of depression
Of deteriorating mental health
and 500 other things that are wrong with me

I can't decide.
I can't be happy for me.
I can't make best friends.
I can't maintain relations?
I can't be friendly with people and stay that way?
Oh NO!
I'm gonna be a sociopath!
Watch, you just wait and see!
Oh.. GOD! WHY?!?! how did I get this way?
I'm desperate, I'm needy, I'm always unsatisfied.
I don't have permanent goals and no true wishes for myself.
This is the result of lost ambition.
This is lost spirit.
I want to be free and artsy but I don't want to live that way.
I'm aquiring OCD, ADHA, dyslexia, asthma, and I already can't smell.
I'm becoming less social, I retreat online more and more...
This is bad.
This is reallly bad.
If I were my own therapist,
I'd know what to do with me.
I'd know what to say.
But me?
I can't follow those instructions!
I can't brainwash myself!!
I need to just chill.
Just chill. Now. Good. That's better, right?
No. Fuck off.

Maybe I'm already battling depression.
Undiagnosed, yet forever present.
I'm in denial and yet I'm confronting it..
sort of.
Well, now i can add bipolar to my list of oddities.
This is why I need someone to talk to.
No, not just about stuff, but someone
I can trust to help me make decisions.
No, not someone who asks leading questions and guide
Me over to my own decision - I need someone to be my brain.
No, I need a pensieve.
Atleast dumbledore's got it right.

No comments:

Post a Comment