Monday, May 12, 2014
Would I want to try to "fix" myself to smell again? If it were at all possible? Honestly, I don't know. Sure it'd be wonderful to be able to know what people are talking about when they say this smells like flowers, this room is musty, this reminds me of this because of this other smell. Are there any smells I want to try in particular? The earth after a rain. Lemon. Flowers. Clothes! Febreeze. Musty dank basements. A burnt omething. I want to know how it is to "taste" food coupled with smell and then be disoriented by not being able to smell when I'm congested. As mysterious as these sound and as much as I want to, There's also a part of me that doesn't want to. What if doctors could let me smell again? What if it's not all it's hyped up to be? I already can guess and imagine vaguely what smells are like due to descriptions, taste, temperature (unless this is not a thing, then oops!), how it feels, and all my other senses. So what if I can smell and it's not all that different from what I can already guess at? Then would it be worth it to be able to smell, then not be able to avoid smelling bathrooms? Dirty messes? Overwhelming perfume? Farts and such? Is being able to smell bad milk, fire/smoke, and all good scents worth also having to smell all the bad parts of life? Maybe for someone who's grown up with smells and can't imagine everything having no scent/odor. But me? I can't imagine being able to smell. It's new and unkown to me. Alien. And if I correct my sense to work again, I'd lose this part of me who is able to guess at smells, play along and pretend to smell, this part of me who has grown up thinking I can do just as much while also being different.
Isn't this the same for the Deaf? They can't hear but they've grown up without it and can do without it and if suddenly you give them a sense of hearing, they'll lose a part of them, and to some it may or may not be worth it. I cannot imagine comparing being deaf to being anosmic, but it's the closest I can think of.